Friday, December 27, 2013

A sad, sad thing


The most difficult promises to keep are the ones we make to ourselves.

Think about it:
The promises we make to ourselves seem deceptively easy to keep; yet these are the ones we break over and over without batting an eyelid. It's easy to break a promise to yourself, seeing that you hold all the aces. Only you have the power to do and undo. Being lord and master, all you need do is change your mind and adjust your goals. Only you have the power to validate or declare non and void.  Remember the Invictus: I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.

Breaking a promise to yourself is easy:
You just alter your perspective, slide down the ladder a bit, ease up on self-discipline, sell out on your personal integrity, let yourself down one more time. All you need do is wrap yourself warmly in the familiar cocoon of self deception. Big deal.

In truth, the inability to keep a promise to oneself is really about these 2 things:

1. Cowardice 2. Lack of sufficient self-love.

In reality these are actually 2 sides of the same coin.
Because if you really, truly, fiercely love you and hold yourself in the highest esteem, this Greatest-Love-Of-All is sufficient to make you muster all the discipline and courage you need to alter the status quo and challenge your cowardice.
This Greatest-Love-Of-All is what is missing when you end up not getting that divorce, not getting that degree, not stopping smoking, not loosing all that weight, not pursuing that dream, not making that life-changing decision.

The sad thing is that everytime, every single time you break your own promises to yourself, you lower your standards. You loose a bit of your personal integrity, you let yourself down a little, you give up on yourself.
Every single time you break a promise to yourself, you’re telling yourself: You’re not worth shit.

And in a world filled with people who hurt one another everyday in every possible way, hurting your self like this is a sad, sad thing.