Seeing the ruckus and sensation this blog has caused and is still causing on ecademy, I have decided to post to here as well and see what happens:
With the complete awareness that what I am about to say now could be regarded as heresy and invoke the wrath of many; especially because it is coming from the lips of a woman,
I hereby proceed anyway to take the plunge:
I love walnut icecream. It is my absolute number one topper. You can wake me up in the middle of the night for this. Yet I also love trying out strawberry and lemon and vanilla and chocolate and basically any new flavour of ice cream that seems delicious to me. Does that make me love walnut less? No not at all! If anything, it makes me appreciate the very taste of walnut again when I eat it.
If I were to eat only walnut all the time would my love for it stay the same?
I think not. I would become bored with it because I know it through and through.
Very often we need the difference/contrast to recognize and keep seeing the beauty of number one.
Are you getting my drift?
Personally I think that we humans are not monogamous by nature and that this is okay. (I am not talking here about love, but sex.) I think that monogamy has a lot of advantages and makes things easy and clearer to some degree. Still I believe that it is more a social and cultural norm than a biological law.
I think that all too often relationships are made and broken by (lack of) monogamy. It makes me wonder:
Why do we make vows about things we can't keep?
Why do we break up when one party has sex outside of the relationship?
Since people do break up for these reasons, does that mean that a whole loving relationship has it's foundations on monogamy as the only condition?
Isn't there anything else besides sexual monogamy, that makes your relationship unique?
Why do we humanbeings need to possess and to overpossess everything: money, land, security,the other person (MY wife, MY Husband, MY Car..... ) all the time?
Why do we have all these rules based on fear?
Fear of not being special or number one or important ALL the time to someone else.
I see love as this wondrously huge power, something that stands distinctively aside from sex.
I see sex as a small part of love and as a biological necessity, like eating and sleeping and all that, in a healthy way.
I see promiscuity as a whole different thing all together. Promiscuity is when a healthy thing goes over the balance and becomes harmful to oneself. Like an eating disorder.
For me obviously sexual monogamy is not the most important aspect of a relationship. Faithfulness for me means having respect for me as a person, standing by me a person.
There is nothing sexual about these things.
If faithful is about sex then it's all a farce isn't it, when people have sex with others everyday in their minds.
I am curious about your opinions on this.