Monday, June 22, 2009

The female Libido

The human female sexual libido is allegedly far lesser than that of the male. So they tell us. Women are the ones who always have a headache, or are dead tired from a whole day of taking care of the kids, running a household, holding a job, blah blah blah, just name it.
At the end of the day she is usually too numb with exhaustion to even think about any form of sexual intercourse, not to talk of actually carrying out the act itself.
Man's world tells us that men, poor men, are the ones walking around with tons of unexpressed sexual energy weighing them down since they hardly have enough outlet for their massive libidos.
This is how life is in the everyday world.

These days I have been crossing paths with a growing number of women who clearly are not of this world. Women like myself who have more than enough of that goody goody stuff called libido to go around. Women like my friends who are clearly deeply "at home" in their bodies, who know how to connect to their own inner rhythm and ride on the waves of sexual energy. Women like us who have learned to harness this energy and deploy it in the very act of everyday living. Women who know what they want, who know how to enjoy, who are not afraid to truly claim the right to enjoy.
Women like this are an answer to every man's dreams right?

Ehhhhmm .... Houston, we have a problem.

As unbelievable as this may seem, recent "studies" have proved quite the contrary. It seems that a woman with a huge libido is not the answer to every mans' prayers because her amazingly generous libido may very well be of such proportions as to surpass his own; And believe me in the man's world this is not a good thing.

Where does this all leave him after he has given 2 or 3 rounds of his very best only to hear her say "and now ladies and gentlemen, let the show begin!"?

It might seem like fun in the beginning but after awhile the unease begins to set in as he starts to feel that the roles have been switched.
As one of my girlfriend aptly noted; a woman's libido is like a water tap, you open it and it just keeps running. A man's libido on the other hand, is like a balloon. You can only "blow" it (no pun intended) to it's fullest capacity which you discover when- and because it bursts.
The sense of unease on man's part is unfortunately unnecessarily coupled with a sense of inadequacy on his part; which is strange because if the roles were reversed, there are not many women who feel inadequate when they tell their partner for the umpteenth time they would prefer to get some sleep.
Somehow most men when they reach this point cannot shrug their shoulders like women do in reversed roles and just accept things as they are. Instead they try for a while to match her pace, then when this fails, and their sense of unease increases, they are at a loss: Society never really prepared them for situations like this. If he, the almighty hunter becomes aware that her sexual prowess has exceeded his, where does this then leave him?
What is wrong with him? No, what is wrong with her? Why does she have to be the one to rock the boat; to change the natural god-given order of things?

It is at this point that names like slut, nympho and oversexed come in to stay. She is not viewed as normal any longer but as a freak of nature. The light of his libido actually seems to pale and diminish because of the power of hers.

What a shame that we live in a world where man's libido serves as the status quo.
Where to want it more than he does is just not done; where it seems to me that men so desperately need to be perceived as the ones with the larger libido, that when confronted with the absurdity of this myth they choose to feel threatened and treat her as unnatural.

What exactly is the origin of this fear?

As a very self knowing woman once said: There's a little bit of hooker in every woman; a little bit of hooker and a little bit of god.

So guys, please, get over it.

1 comment:

  1. Low libido has become an ever-increasing issue in today's modern world as life seems harder and we all seem to be working more than ever before. Many of us have come to accept this as a fact of life and have ignored the need for sexual pleasure within our lives and really pushed sex to the back burner.